For three years I hated Edward Cullen with a passion. I wanted him to see the person her turned me into. Yet for those every same three years, I loved him.
I still love him. He's all I ever want and need.
Lost Soul
"Why the hell am I here again?" I ask my best friend Alice."Because it's my birthday, and you love me, of course," she says in a slightly annoying voice.
"Damn you, Alice," is my only response.
"What? You've been in stupid Florida for three years. I miss you!" she says.
I stop walking and turn toward her.
"I know, Alice. I missed you too, but let's not forget why I left," I reply a little more harshly than I should have.
I pull her into a hug so she knows I don't blame her.
Pretty soon, she is tugging me toward the living room.
The second I walk in the door, I stop in my tracks.
Emmett is lying on the couch with his head resting in Rose's lap.
Her legs are stretched out next to Jasper.
She is pretending that she is deep into her Cosmo, but everyone knows she is watching Emmett with loving eyes.
Jasper is jumping up and down screaming at someone about him beating a high score.
I laugh out loud, blowing my cover.
Emmett turns his head, and when he sees me, he lets out a booming, "Bells!" before jumping over the couch and hugging me.
Rose, always her graceful self, rises quietly and walks to me before capturing me into a hug. "We missed you," she whispers in my ear.
Rose and I have history. If it wasn't for Alice, there is no doubt she'd be my best friend.
When she moves, I stare at Jasper, waiting for him to make a move.
He crouches low before running full charge at me.
He used to try and pick me up the same way when we were twelve.
Right before he reaches me, I step out the way, causing him to fall on the ground.
"Awww you're no fun, Bells," he whines.
"Oh please, Jasper, I'm plenty fun," I say before throwing him a wink.
That earns me a slap on the arm from Alice. I smile at her and scan the room.
There he is. The reason I left Forks. The man who captured my heart and broke it. He was my first love. The boy that managed to kiss Jane Volturi right in front of me. Yep. Being cheated on at twelve hurts the most.
He turns and looks at me, and I can feel everyone's eyes on us.
"Isabella," he says simply as a greeting.
I laugh again.
I take the few steps toward him.
"Stand up and give me a hug," I say.
He glances at me, shocked.
"Edward, get over yourself. You told me you loved me, and I said it back. The only difference is I didn't lie. I moved away, and that was the worst mistake ever, because I let you take my friends away when I should have stayed and made every day hell for you. But I'm a big girl now. I can handle being next to the big bad wolf..." I pause.
I lean in and whisper, "Because I know if he blows my house down, I can blow him," just loud enough for everyone to hear.
I laugh at his face. I pull him into a hug before patting him on the back and walking toward Alice's room.
"Good, now that that's over, can we please head to the club?" I say.
I motion for my bag.
"Eddie, be a sweetheart and put that in Alice's room," I say.
Rose throws me a knowing look.
"Okay, time to get ready," she says.
I head for the bathroom, taking my shirt off on the way.
I slip my shoes and socks off.
I look around and realize, like an idiot, I forgot my clothes.
I walk out of the bathroom toward Alice's room, passing Edward on my way.
Not bothering to cover myself up, I plug my iPod into the dock and turn "I'm Sprung" up.
I grab my bra and panty set and everything else I need and head back to the other bathroom.
I know Alice has a bathroom, but it's just easier to get dressed in the one closest to Edward's room. I turn the water on before jumping into the shower.
After my shower, I get out and call to the guys. "You know, you can come in here. I don't have anything you haven't seen, and we all act like sisters and brothers, so..."
I wrap the towel around me and another one around my hair.
I dry myself off before the boys come in. Naturally, Emmett's first.
He takes one look at me and realize they are all overreacting and call them in.
I laugh at their faces.
I dry my hair off and replace the towel.
I begin putting lotion on my legs.
I notice Edward staring at me, so I let the top of my towel fall some.
Never before have I been so proud of my CC cup size breasts.
I lotion the top half of my body.
I pull my thong on slower than normal and pull on the matching bra.
I drop the towel and call to Emmett. He turns around and starts blushing.
I laugh and point to my abs.
"Damn, Bells has been to the gym!" he booms.
I laugh when Jasper holds his stomach and Emmett pokes mine.
I pull my skinny jeans on.
I dig around my bag and pull out a tank top.
I pull it over my head and pull out my pocket knife.
I make a rip-like cut that shows my cleavage off.
I pull on my knee high boots.
I turn to see the guys staring at me.
"Damn, Bella, I can say this because we all know that I'm pining for Rose, but you look HOT!" Emmett says.
I laugh.
"Yep, three years ago, I found out what guys like in hopes I would find the one for me. Now I can't get them to leave me alone."
I put my hair in a pony tail and throw my stuff in my bag before heading back to Alice's room.
I grab my leather jacket and put it on.
I put a black choker and dark eye liner on.
I paint my nails black and put red lipstick on.
I glance in the mirror and smile at my reflection.
The red lipstick is a great contrast to my pale skin, and the dark eyeliner makes my eyes look bigger,
more innocent, and a little mysterious.
I wait for everyone to finish in the living room.
Rose is wearing a simple black mini dress with killer platforms.
Alice is wearing a short skirt and tank top with her hair in pig tails.
The guys are wearing simple jeans and a shirt.
I can't keep my eyes from wondering towards Edward.
Several fantasies play out in my mind, all of them include him naked.
I want to tell him how great he looks, but I stop myself, knowing I'd tell him how great his clothes would look on the floor next to mine.
I walk toward the door that goes into the garage.
Instead, I walk outside.
I smile at my baby. My black Audi A4 convertible.
I get into the front seat, honk, and wait for everyone else.
They decide to each drive their own cars, and soon we are speeding down the road taking part in an unspoken race.
I walk into the club twenty minutes later, and thirty minutes after that, I'm dancing with some nameless guy. He's cute. Not my type, sadly. I only do tall guys with green eyes and soft copper hair. Boner boy here looked liked he could handle me though.
I press my ass into him and roll my hips.
I reach back, hooking my arms around his neck.
I grind my ass further into him.
I can feel how hard he is, and I smile, knowing that I'm the reason for it.
I roll my hips to the beat of "Down on me."
I rock my hips before droping to my knees.
I turn around facing him as I make my way up.
I glide my hands up from his legs and let my hands hover over his crotch.
I stand and smile.
He pulls me close and presses his lips to mine.
I slip my tongue out and lick his lips.
I pick up my speed and enjoy the vibrations of him moaning into my mouth.
I pull and pull him closer to me.
I roll my hips into him and start pushing him back. I lead him backwards toward a seat. I push him onto it and straddle him. Making my movements slow and drawing them out longer than I should have keeps him panting. I unbutton his shirt. I notice he has a well defined chest. Muscular.
I kiss up his neck and suck right behind his ear. He places his hands on my waist.
I grab fistfuls of his hair. Half of me angry that he touched me without permission, the other amused.
Did he really think I would fuck him, in public no less?
For a moment, I pretend that it's the soft copper hair that I love so much. For that moment, I find myself pressing myself into him. I realize that if I closed my eyes I might just fuck him. Except I couldn't do that, to myself or Edward.
I pull back and see him panting. His eyes dark with need and lust.
His lips are swollen and him starting to sweat.
Disgusting. I hate sweat.
I tip his head back and command him to close his eyes.
I remove myself from his body and head towards my friends and our table.
I panic for a moment when I realize that they were watching the whole thing.
Then I smile because I know he saw what I can do now.
The songs switch, and soon all the couples are dancing together.
I tap Edward on his shoulder. He turns and looks at me.
Those beautiful green eyes.
I always feel lost in them when he looks at me.
I wish I could hate him, but I can't.
We were twelve. So innocent. We didn't know the meaning of a relationship.
We only knew that we had feelings for each other. Love is not something twelve year olds should deal with.
"Do you want to dance?" I ask him.
"It's a couples' dance," he states.
"Weren't we a couple three years ago?" I whisper.
"I don't know what we were, or what you are," he says harshly.
Then I was pissed.
"Oh please, Edward. We are exactly what we were before. Madly in love. That's not changing. You're the only man I'll love," I reply.
He turns to me, shocked.
I half expected him to become outraged for some reason, call me a slut or whore. I wasn't prepared for what he did do.
He pulls me to him and kisses me.
I turn my body so that I'm straddling him.
This was the moments I wish I had.
I wish that I could have been his first kiss.
That things were easier.
I wrap my fingers in his hair.
Oh god, his hair, softer than I every remembered...
I wonder if he smelled the same...
I pull back and inhale his scent before pulling his lips to mine again in pure hunger, my memory didn't do him justices.
I roll my hips and moan at the feeling, it seems like little Eddie...has a big Eddie. I lay my hand on his chest but in no way am I pushing him away.
I want him. I need him.
I grab his hand and pull him outside.
I pull my keys out my pocket and unlock the car door.
I pull the roof up and push him into the back seat.
I get in and shut the door behind me.
I straddle him and kiss him again.
I pull his shirt off and kiss his chest.
I throw my shirt on the floor next to his and unsnap my bra. I press my breast into his chest and kiss him. I press myself into trying to be as close as possible to him.
He pulls away from me and wraps his lips around my nipple while he pinches the other.
He bites down gently and sucks hard.
I moan out a "Fuck."
He leans me back so I'm almost in the front seat.
He takes my shoes off and my jeans follow them onto the floor.
He rips the thong off, and it's soon on the floor too.
He lifts my legs up and over his shoulders.
He leans forward and blows a hot breath on to my pussy.
"You're so wet, Bella. Is that for me?" he whispers.
"Yes!"
Did he really think it was for someone else?
I've got three years of arousal dripping and it's all for him.
He leans in and licks my clit in one stroke.
"You taste so good," he moans.
The vibrations feel amazing on my pussy, and I know for a fact that I'm most likely the horniest girl in history.
Nothing compared to what I will be if things continue.
As if he read my mind, he takes my clit in his mouth and sucks gently.
His mouth was simply divine. So warm.
I feel his finger at my entrance, and he pushes into me gently.
I moan his name.
I rock my hips on his face.
He sucks harder and fucks me with his finger.
Edward stops sucking, and I hear him unzip his pants.
I lean forward so I'm straddling him again.
I press my hands onto his chest and look into his eyes.
They are dark with lust and want.
I notice another emotion fly across his face: Love.
I lean forward, pressing my lips on his.
I try to tell him how much I love him and missed him with my lips.
I want him to know at least half of how much I feel for him.
I rock my hips and feel his cock at my entrance.
Just knowing he is there makes me even more wet, more than I thought possible.
I look him in the eyes.
I press my forehead to his and whisper, "I love you."
He grabs my waist.
"I love you too," and then he plunges into me.
We let out load moans as we were thrown into the most amazing orgasm ever.
Just knowing that he was mine again made me want to cum again.
I dig my nails into his shoulder and ride him, right then and there in the back of my car.
He picks up on my speed and meets every thrust.
Pretty soon, we are thrown into another orgasm better then the last.
We ride our orgasm out and kiss sweetly.
Thirty minutes later, we are dancing on the dance floor again.
The guy from earlier passed by and whispers, "Don't bother with her. She'll leave you hanging," a little too loud.
I burst into a fit of laughter and lead Edward toward our friends at the table.
Just as we reach the table, Rose asks me, "Hey, Bells, do you have a rubber band I can use?"
"Yeah sure," I say, reaching up towards my hair and realize it was down.
"When the hell did that happen?" I say, feeling myself blush.
"BELLA'S BACK," Emmet says in a loud and booming voice.
I turn and kiss Edward.
He lets a laugh out.
"And so is Edward," says Alice.
I turn to look at Edward.
His green eyes are filled with love as he stares down at me.
His soft copper hair points in awkward positions in obvious sex hair state.
His pink lips are swollen.
A hickey is forming on his neck.
I can't lower my eyes anymore.
"I'm sorry to cut the night short, but can we please go home now?" I ask.
"Why?" everyone responds.
"Because I would like to have my boyfriend fuck the shit out me somewhere other then my car." I state.
Everyone turns to give me a 'Da Fuck?' face, but I just shrug.
They shouldn't have planned this shit if they didn't plan on us fucking all night.
When I told them that, they all look shocked.
"Did you really think I forgot that Alice's birthday is in two months?" I ask.
Alice starts blushing.
"Why the fuck is everyone blushing?"Jasper demands.
"Simple, Alice wants to fuck you, Jasper. Jasper wants to fuck Alice. Emmett wants to fuck Rose, Rose wants to fuck Emmett, naturally Edward and I want to fuck. All the pussies and cock are pissed that they don't get their own party. So are somehow causing us all to blush. So can we please go the fuck home and fuck?" I say.
In five minutes, we are speeding down the road.
We've been friends since we were ten. I am glad to see there is no way for us to be separated again.
I am proud of us for coming out of all the shit life threw our way and making the best of it.
Five years after that night, I was married to Edward.
Rose followed shortly after us, and Alice was right after her.
We had our first kids a month apart and plan on them to become half the friends we are. After sixth grade, I never thought I would get my happy ending, my true love story. But Edward taught me that a True love story never ends. Everyday, we continue to start a new chapter, and every night...
Well, we fuck like horny teenagers.
I would never deny my attraction to Edward. Many times I notice women staring at him, I couldn't be mad. I knew he was fine.
My favorite thing about him was his eyes.
Somehow they just seemed so deep.
They made him seem like he's seen years of battle experience and other life changing experiences.
I highly doubt that he was in World War II. I knew he experienced something like that, three years without his heart. Whenever I look into his eyes I see his haunted past, his present, and a future that promises much more adventures to come. I always noticed the gold fleck in his eyes that seemed to say "I have lived heartless for years, so anything you say or do couldn't harm me in any way like that."
I also knew deep within my heart, based on every time we made love, or he just fucked my brains out, I would never leave him again. I couldn't.
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