Thursday, June 21, 2012

I Do

Wedding bells are in the air for Edward and Bella, but could the return of his best friend cause problems? Will we hear I do? - Edward/Emmett

I Do...

They have not noticed me yet, I stand in the doorway, leaning against the frame with my arms folded and smirking at the three men I see before me. It seems like it's been forever since I last laid eyes on them all, and I really want to just stand here and savour this moment.
The groom-to-be is sitting drinking beer looking like all his Christmases just came at once, together with his brother Jasper, his father Carlisle, also sitting with him. One big happy family all eager to make Edward's last week as a free man that much more exceptional. I can feel a grin spreading across my face as I watch Edward, his head thrown back, making as his Adam's apple dance up and down his throat to the rhythm of his throaty laughter.
I raise my hand to my mouth, biting my index finger hard to prevent me from laughing aloud, far too happy just watching this scene before me as it unfolds.
He catches me trying to suppress the giggles that are fighting to get out, and his face lights up, causing me to grin nervously as I take small steps in his direction.
"Emmett McCarty... about fucking time you showed up." The familiar voice of Jasper fills the room, but I keep my eyes locked on my childhood friend, the one I have not seen in over a year.
I walk over and greet Jasper with a one armed hug, breaking my gaze and forcing my eyes to look away from Edward's.
"Dr. Cullen," I say, turning my attention to Edward's father then firmly shaking the hand of the man I will always see as a father, much more than my own.
He raises his eyebrow at me, whilst still smiling.
"What, you don't call me Carlisle anymore?" He pulls me in for a tight hug, the kind he always blessed upon his own children.
I look up into those loving eyes, the proud father ones that Carlisle has always offered me as his son's best friend. Mr. and Mrs. Cullen were the only people who actually listened to me as a kid growing up, always letting me know I could be anything or anyone. They were the kind of parents I used to secretly wish were actually mine, the ones who would always have time for me.
"You're a part of this family just as much as my own children; do I have to tell you this every time you're home?" He used to inform me of this every time I asked for a drink or a cookie. I was a member of this family, and therefore should treat their home as if it was mine.
If I was ever upset, I always went to find Esme who would make me feel better. If I had a problem or guy stuff I was too embarrassed to discuss with Esme, then nothing was too small or troublesome for Dr. Carlisle Cullen to help me with. Their hearts always had me included within them.
I knew without any shadow of a doubt how much they loved me, treated me as their own blood.
I think I actually lived at their house more than my own, playing with Edward, Jasper, and occasionally their daughter Alice, but mainly it was just Edward and me. Brothers separated at birth, or kindred spirits even Esme used to joke. My childhood world consisted of Edward and the Cullen household. Above all else, he was my bestfriend, the boy who helped me understand the numbers and words on the board in class and the one who showed me the easy way to study and remember all those stupid dates. Edward was the only one who I told my deepest, darkest secrets to: My best friend, my confidant and my partner in crime for our childhood pranks.
When I was not staying over at their house, I was on our walkie-talkies that Edward and I used until all hours, talking just about everything and nothing at the same time. This was one of the things between us that never changed, ever, even when I left for the big city; I still talked to him daily, but on MSN now as opposed to our ancient communication devices. Nothing changed, yet, things got a little quieter when he got more serious with Bella, but he still always had time for me.
You never forget your best friend.. ever.. and seeing him before me today, helping him to prepare for that major step we all might take one day, well, I could not feel any prouder.
He finally pulls me from his father's embrace.
"Hey, geek." I smile, extending my hand to him.
"Hey, meathead." He grins back, grabbing my hand; we shake formally before I pull him into a bear hug.
For a just moment, it is a simple hug, then I feel his hands fist the back of my shirt, and suddenly a year's worth of tension leaves my body.
"Missed you, bro," I whisper, and he sighs, nodding, tightening our embrace.
"Fuck, you guys gonna dry hump next, cos if you are, I'm gonna need another drink." Jasper teases.
I swallow the need to laugh as I move my head around to look into his face, our eyes settling on each other's, and for the first time ever, we don't speak. We just allow our jaws to hang.
For in that moment, as I look at my best friend, I actually forget the reason why we are here. We only move apart when we hear the doors crashing open and the other guests entering.
Jasper's laughter breaks through the noise. "Thought we'd lost you both there for a second. You both want a room?" He jests and laughs.
I laugh along with everyone else, but for some reason, I feel my cheeks warming.
The doors open as the first few guests enter into our little bubble- Mike Newton, followed by Tyler Crowley!
I stiffen and turn toward Jasper. "Jazz, you invited them?"
"It's a small ,town, Em, what can I say?"
"If I had only invited who he actually hung out with, it would be just you." He laughs softly, nodding his head in between Edward and me.
I cannot argue with that Jazz. He is right- we did only hang out with one another. I had never realized that fact until now. He was the small, geeky kid and I was the over-sized Jock that everyone thought was a dumbass. People's opinions of me were not far wrong; I was a dumbass, until Edward took the time with me when teachers could no longer be bothered.
Edward never saw me that way, and I never saw him as the geek people thought he was. He saw a great friend who could build the most amazing paper planes and dams across the river with awesome swings that everyone was jealous of because they never broke. He saw me as the person who could pick up the rocks and boulders, to build the dams and climb the trees to hang the ropes for the swings; a perfect working team.
We are a match made in heaven...wait, where did that thought come from? I'm pulled from my thoughts by the sound that can only be Newton.
"Hey, dumbass!" Newton quips as he nears the bar. "Didn't think we'd see your ugly face around here again." He punches my shoulder, and I suppress a chuckle as he shakes off the sudden shot of pain in his hand. I may be a dumb asshole, but I am still twice your fucking size! I turn to him, my body towering over his small, puny frame, my eyes blazing down at his now uncertain face.
"Number one, Newton! Don't fucking touch me! Number two! Why wouldn't I be back here when my best friend is getting married? Oh, and number three, just in case you missed it...DON'T EVER FUCKING TOUCH ME AGAIN!"
He stumbles backwards, holding his hands up in mock defeat before turning and joining his friends who are already dry humping the inflatables Jasper had bought in and set up earlier and positioned around the room.
Yeah, this is going to be a long-ass night... I need a drink, and we quickly make a beeline for the bar.
The bartender hands me every drink I request, and soon I begin to reminisce with Edward. I remember us as kids, our little games where we played grownups, using juice in shot glasses and pretending it was Tequila. Now, here we are with the real slammers in front of us.
All in a row, one after the other, we chug back the burning liquid, filling us with merriment and high spirits with every shot we consume.
Three hours later, Newton and another guy I do not even remember meeting are hanging over the microphone singing Gaga.
Jasper is trying to talk to Carlisle about something to do with college, and Edward is...
Where is Edward?
My eyes scan the room until I find him, leaning over the bar talking animatedly with the barman. I always said he would be dumb without his hands; I throw down my shot and head over in his direction for another drink, the alcoholic buzz well and truly taking a hold of me.
"Mmmmmet." He smiles, beckoning me with a crooked finger.
"Bro!" I laugh, sitting down on the stool beside him.
"Ths...Ssis my bestestest frind for hever." He slurs, looking from me to the barman, fingering my chest and causing my whole body to tingle.
"Emmett, pleased to meet you..." I smirk, holding out my hand to shake the barman's.
"Ben." He smiles back. "I think someone should get the groom home, and soon."
I nod. "Don't worry. I'll get him home safe."
Edward giggles, throwing his arm across my shoulder. "Memmmms salways lukd after meee." He smiles at me, and there is that look again in his eyes, and then he grabs his junk.
"Ned to peeee, Emmmmt."
I laugh and help him off the barstool before we stumble towards the restrooms.
Luckily, the bathroom is empty as we burst through the door drunkenly, heading over to the urinals and supporting each other as we walk.
I position him before one of the urinals so he can pee and watch as he struggles with his zipper, laughing quietly to himself before giving into defeat.
"Can...t do! Mmmett...halp!" he requests, giggling even more drunkenly whilst trying to hold onto the wall in front of him for support.
Help him? Seriously?
I look at my friend, unsure if I can actually do what he is requesting of me.
"Edward...I..." I stammer, unsure of what to do.
He tries to work the zipper again himself, but frustration starts to cross his face before throwing his hands down to his sides in total defeat.
"Zip...bushted..." he slurs.
I move forward and nervously start to help him with the zipper, trying not to make eye contact with him as my fingers shake over the fastener.
What the fuck is wrong with me? It is just a zipper! I keep repeating that mantra in my mind as I finally free his zipper.
I feel his lips brush across my skin and gently graze my cheek, and I just freeze.
"Love ya, bro!" he mumbles simply.
I twist my face round more into his, our lips just a breath away, rest my gaze on his pink lips, his pink, moist, and supple lips and I am momentarily frozen in time.
I try to wrench my face away, but for some unknown reason, my brain refuses to listen and ignores me.
Before I can regain control of myself to answer him, or even fully take in what he is telling me, the door to the bathroom swings open, and I jump back from Edward, my eyes falling onto Carlisle.
"Everything alright in here, boys?" he asks, smiling.
"!" Fuck, I cannot even speak properly, still too shocked over feeling Edward's lips on my cheek and my moment of madness as I just gazed at his lips.
"Need some air!"
I burst out from the room, ignoring the voices shouting after me to slow down; I keep running until I am outside in the night's cold air. I gulp in large, calming breaths before my body starts buckling forward, pushing me onto my knees and throwing up.
What did they put in my drinks?
I feel a familiar hand touch me on my shoulder, the hand I have felt many times before when I have most needed it.
Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I take in a more deep, cleansing breaths and turn to meet soft, blue eyes, looking at me with genuine concern.
"Carlisle...I. sorry...I..." I stumble over my words; a soft smile graces his face, letting me know he is not mad or upset.
"Emmett, are you okay, son?"
I nod and then shake my head, exhaling. I go to open my mouth to speak several times, but nothing but air escapes past my lips.
"Drunk." I finally say, shrugging because I cannot bear to see his face if I tell him how I really feel, that I really…really wish it were me his son was in love with and not her.
He raises a sceptical eyebrow; he knows me so well ."Emmett?"
I smile, standing up. "Doc, seriously I'm good. "Now your son however needs to get home."
Then right on cue, a very drunken best friend and his brother singsong their way into the chilled air.
I move to help them both, as Jasper looks like he's about to crumble under Edwards's weight and fall over, hoping that this distraction will be enough to take the spotlight from me. Carlisle grabs his youngest son under his arms as I grasp Edward; I inhale as his scent wafts over me. He smells of Hugo Boss and tequila...hmmm.
"Yno Memm ya ned tfind yerself a niiiiice grl." I chuckle at his words and just nod.
"Yeah. Okay dude, I'll do that." Right after I get my head and heart together.
He nods his head, which actually moves in a full circular motion before slapping his hand over his mouth.
Turning him quickly towards the shrubbery outside of the club just in time before he vomits. Groaning he holds his hands on his thighs as he spectacularly paints the flowers in eclectic colours. I find myself rubbing small circles on his back to calm him, because that is what best friends do, right?
Once he has finished heaving, I pass him a napkin from my pocket. He wipes his mouth before attempting to stand.
"Here ya go, Edward." I chuckle softly, holding him around the waist with one hand before pulling his arm around my shoulder, to support him.
He rests his head on my shoulder nuzzling into my neck as my scalp starts prickling.
"Love ya, bro," he slurs. "Don't know what I'd do without you."
Words start to form but get stuck in the back of my throat ,so I simply nod in response.
Love you too, Edward...
I wake in familiar surroundings with one mother-fucking hangover. My eyes scream at me to stay closed, but my bladder has other ideas. I walk towards the ensuite of the Cullen's guest room, a room I have stayed in countless of times, a room that feels like home.
Once I have showered and dressed, I feel a little more human. I make my way slowly down to the kitchen where the smell of freshly brewed coffee and pancakes permeates the walls, bringing back a rush of childhood memories.
I chuckle as the scene in front of me develops. Both Carlisle and Jasper are resting their heads flat on the kitchen counter, and Edward is nowhere to be seen.
"Coffee, Emmett?" laughs Esme cheerily as the others groan into their own mugs.
"Please." I smile as I join the hangover club.
I am onto my second cup of coffee when he breezes down the stairs into the kitchen, whistling. He's freshly showered, and his hair is in its usual sexy disarray. I adjust myself inconspicuously under the counter as I take in the scent of the honey shower gel that wafts under my nose as he goes past me, taking a fresh cup of coffee from his mother.
I watch as he sips his coffee, looking around at his almost dead family before him holding their heads in their hands.
"You all look so bad; guess we can't all hold our liquor." His melodic, teasing laughter fills the room.
I watch as his brother and father send daggers over to him.
"Edward...please...don't talk so loud." Carlisle mumbles, drinking more coffee.
Edward laughs again then finally looks in my direction. "How's your head, Emmett?"
How is he not at death's door? He must have emptied his stomach when he threw up, but then I did that too, and I feel like an elephant is jumping on my head this morning!
Lucky shit! I offer him all I got ...a simple grunt.
He walks over to take a seat next to me, resting his elbows on the table as he drinks more of his warm coffee. He looks over at me, smiling for a moment before trying to prompt more conversation from my aching body.
"You know ,Emm, maybe you need to practise drinking a little more. You know, so you're not quite as hung over the next day," he says, winking at me, his lips forming a smile that somehow manages to light up his whole face.
Dragging my eyes away, I reach over for the sugar. I need some fucking sugar buzz right now. As I take the spoon in my hand, it bumps into Edward's, and my eyes flick back instantly to his face. Everything around us starts to melt away; nothing is in my peripheral vision other than the face of my best friend.
He smiles at me again, and I can feel my throat going dry as I fight to gain control over my hand that for some reason wants to reach out and grasp his tightly within mine.
He smiles again, causing a small whimper to break free from my lips.
My attention is brought back into the room, only to see Esme cussing to herself as she picks up the coffee cup she just dropped. I watch as Carlisle and Jasper go to her rescue, but when I look back at Edward, he is not looking my way anymore; he is on his cell her.
"Hey, Bella babe." I suddenly want to go hide under my duvet for the rest of the day and simply die.
I made my excuses to Esme that I had to go and finish unpacking, but I was lying. I had already done that when I woke. I just cannot face seeing her yet. Isabella Swan... the girl who stole my best friend's heart, cast her love spell over his eyes, and has him preparing to walk down the aisle.
Jealous? Maybe, but it is just kinda as if I will be losing him forever when he says the dreaded I do to her!
I can hear her voice singing its way up through the house, then screaming with Alice as they look over something far too boring and girly for my liking. I should go down say hi to the brown-haired girl I went to school with, but...I just need a few more moments to myself.
I finally manage to pull myself together enough and start taking one cleansing breath after another. I head for the living room where they are sitting with Alice and Esme, still oohing, and ahhing over glossy magazines. She turns to look at me as I enter.
"Hey, meathead!"
That is his name for me, and my skin tingles in annoyance at the thought of someone else using it.
"Hey, tink."
"Emmett, no one has called me that in years." She giggles.
"Yeah, well I am all for bringing it back," say, a little more bitterly than intended.
"Called you what, baby?"
My stomach flips; I need to be away from here, but my eyes lock onto Bella as her hands sensuously rubbing up and down his arms, then her standing up on her toes to kiss the side of his sculptured mouth. Fuck this! I cannot stay a minute longer and watch this, so I turn and disappear upstairs to collect my things. I can still help him even if I stay at the lodge; this house suddenly seems too small and crowded for my liking.
I start throwing in all my clothes before zipping up my bag; grabbing my coat, I take one last look at my childhood room before closing the door.
As I turn, I come face to face Edward. His eyes move from my face to the bag I am holding. Confusion spreads across his perfect face, and it kills me that I am the one that's putting it there.
I shift my weight from one foot to another, keeping my head down as I avoid his probing gaze.
"Sorry. I just thought, you know, with Bella being here and..."
"You're leaving me?"
"Edward, I..." The words stick in my throat. As I try to move past him, he catches my arm, and that familiar pulse rushes through every nerve ending where his fingers connect with my arm.
"Don't go." His voice is barely a whisper.
"Why!" The word leaves my throat before I think it through, but nothing else seems appropriate in this moment.
"Why what?" He asks me, confused.
I sigh, readying myself the best I could for his answer.
"Why should I stay, Edward?" The breath I didn't know I was holding suddenly leaves my body like a bitter wind.
"Edward, are you listening to me?" Bella groans again at me. For the third time today, she has caught me lost in my own thoughts.
I look at her from the across the dining table in our favourite restaurant, smiling apologetically.
"Sorry, my darling. I am all ears, I promise." I say as reassuringly as I can muster.
Tonight's the night before the rest of our lives; well, that is what my father tells me, but when I should be all excited, I just feel...deep inside me...unsure.
I love Bella, and I have wanted nothing more than to marry her ever since school, but we decided to wait as responsible adults until we were financially secure. Yet now, in view of these past few days, I just feel like I am a man on the outside looking into someone else's life.
None of this feels real to me anymore.
"Edward, tonight is our last night before we become man and wife, and yet, you just seem to be somewhere else." She pouts ,trying to gain my attention.
I take her soft hand in mine, yet for some strange reason, I find myself missing the rough hands of another and the deep laugh of my friend.
What the fuck!
Clearly, my anger at him is fuelling my need to see him even now. Ever since he left this morning, he has been avoiding me, trying anything to pretend to be busy, too busy to talk or even be in a room alone with me.
"Too much to do Ed, chat in a bit." More stupid excuses for staying away from me! Walking from the room when I walk in and pretending not to notice me.
Why! What in God's name did I do?
Ever since then, my thoughts have been clouded with him eating away at my insides. I just want to talk to him, have this out, and I plan to tonight when I will finally have him alone...all to myself.
Out of nowhere, my chest fills with butterflies at the thought...WTF?
"You me, don't you, Edward?" Bella asks worriedly.
I pull her hand to my lips, kissing it gently and smiling at my wife-to-be as we eat, drink, and enjoy our meal before we part for our last night apart.
I wonder, did she realise that I never answered her?
Tonight, there will be no more excuses and avoiding my questions. Tonight we will spend my last night as a free man, together; we had made up this pre-arranged agreement since we were kids. So, no more excuses tonight, Emmett. Tonight I will find out just why you have avoided me and left my parents' house on the days prior to my wedding. I nod to my reflection in the mirror and prepare for the night ahead.
I put on my favourite tight-fitted, blue silk shirt over my dark trousers, and I check myself in the mirror, pulling at my hair to fix it in place with the wax. I eye my suit for tomorrow hanging on the back of my door, and I allow my mind to wander to tomorrow's ceremony, at the thought of awaiting my bride to arrive covered in her netted veil, then as I lift the fabric over her head to reveal my beautiful...EMMETT!
Fuck! I really need to get him out of my head, get this crap out so we can get back on track. Why the fuck do weddings have to ruin everything?
Tonight, I will talk to him, check that we are still cool, and make certain I did not upset him somehow. Even as I think this, the thought of hurting or upsetting Emmett makes my heart actually constrict in an uncomfortable way.
I wonder if he fancies Bella? Is that his problem? There must be a reason as to why he is being so evasive. I just wish I knew what it was. Therefore, I had decided to take us out of Forks to neutral territory. I take one last look in the mirror and tell myself to man up and sort this shit out finally. I grab my keys and phone, then head out to the club; I just hope he shows.
I have managed to procure tickets for a new club in the VIP section no less; a deep base is pumping through the floor as I make my way through to the roped area where I will wait for him.
Necking my second beer, I hear Emmett's loud guffaw over the music. My bottle stopping midway to my mouth as I drink him in; he is in a black, tight-fitting T-shirt that shows off his upper arms and low-rise, dark blue jeans with faded leather boots. My mouth is suddenly as dry as a desert as he walks towards me, his eyes give nothing away; it is going to be one hell of a long fucking night.
The atmosphere between us is just about palpable. We are making an attempt at idle chat, but this is not us, not who we truly are.
I sigh, placing my bottle down on the table, turning to him. He has been playing with the label on his drink for the past five minutes.
He closes his eyes slowly and then lets out a puff of air from his nostrils.
"I'm sorry," he whispers, his voice cracking with emotions.
Moreover, although I am glad he is finally talking, I want to know more.
"What for, exactly?" I push for more.
"The way I've behaved, the way I've been ignoring you." He gestures, rolling his hand between us. "The list is endless."
I throw the question I have been thinking all night out there. "It's Bella ,isn't it?"
His head shoots up; his eyes wide are as he opens his mouth to speak, then thinks better of it and closes it again. It must be her...but why am I feeling completely devastated? Not that he likes Bella, but because...I shake my head, why can't I just spit it out?
Because you would ruin everyone's lives if you did, because you have made your bed and you gotta lie in it...
"Emmett, I..."
"Edward...look, I..." We both spoke simultaneously.
Our eyes lock, and once again the world starts to melt away. I envision myself leaning over the table, taking his hand in mine and squeezing it, telling him it's okay-that we're okay.
I jerk as I suddenly realise I've actually acted out my vision. Emmett is just staring at our hands joined across the table. I freeze. I've fucked everything up; years of friendship down the drain, and all because I couldn't control myself for one lousy fucking minute.
What was I doing?
These feelings of longing as he sits opposite me send sparks through me, pulsing down my spine just by a simple touch; a longing to remain here with him. He left me for a week- no reason and no real explanation and-it…ate away at me. Emmett, my best friend for life, avoided me like I was nothing! Was I nothing to him?
What was happening here, why was my heart aching in my chest as I sat opposite my childhood friend?
These stupid mistakes I now make are ruining everything, changing everything.
I would be lucky if he wanted to stand with me tomorrow. He is probably disgusted at the thought of having his best friend crushing on him. I pull my hand from his, standing quickly then turning to escape. I knock the table so the bottles scatter.
Without a word, I practically run out of the VIP area, not looking over my shoulder before I disappear into the sea of dancers. He is still looking down at his hand, where we just were joined for that infinitesimal moment when it felt...just so right.
I grab at my chest as my heart wrenches within it. The room starts spinning around me as I become overwhelmed with everything that is happening. In a few short hours, I will become Bella's husband, but yet, in the past few minutes, I have managed to destroy the most perfect friendship I ever had.
I want to make my escape, run into the night to get away from all the crap I have created. Fuck... my so-called-life was all shattering around me.
Dancers bang into me lost with the beat of the music, and bump me, into another person, then another, like a fucked up pinball machine. I could not regain control, becoming more and more lost in my own despair. I manage to force my way through the crowd, pushing the drunken idiots away from me trying to head towards the exit sign, to get lost into the nights air.
My head is telling me; to run to get away from everything I have so easily destroyed, while my heart is pounding in my chest, trying to pull me back to Emmett.
I burst through the clubs doors out into the cold air that whips across my face like a son of a bitch, but I just run into it, letting it drive me forward until I find a dark alcove to hide in, hide away from the crap storm I had just left behind me.
"EDWARD...EDWARD." His voice is calling to me, and my heart is begging to go to him but my head just pulls my body into a heap on the ground and I sob uncontrollably.
I am standing out in the cold yelling his name as I pull at my hair, cursing myself for not going after him sooner.
I should have told him it was not Bella, but if I had made my admission, then he would have...
Ran from me? Fuck, well he did just that anyway. He ran as if the room was on fire.
Why? I am so fucking confused and hard..!
Yes, I am so fucking hard! His hand in mine felt so fucking perfect, but why had he done it after all this time? Why now, and then pulled back as if I had some sort of contagious virus?
How would he get home?
Carlisle and Esme would kill me if he did not make it to the church tomorrow. I walked in a haze down the dark streets, the alcohol I had ingested hitting me tenfold as it mingled with the cool air. My footing slipped as I stumbled along, and then I felt strong hands catching me before I hit the cold, hard pavement.
"I got you, Em."
My body froze. "Don't let me fall, Edward."
He wraps his hand around my waist, mimicking the actions from our first night out. He hails a cab and helps me inside the warm car. The journey home is quiet, and I soon lose the fight to stay awake.
I find myself standing at the altar with Edward. His guests are filling the seats of the church as we all wait anxiously with bated breath for the bride to make her big entrance. A small fog is settling at our feet telling me that this is a dream, but dream or not, this is the last thing I want to have playing out before me!
I can feel him pulling away from me, taking the inevitable steps towards becoming the other half of Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen.
Please, anything but this...
He turns to smile at me, his eyes burning into me, and I watch as he bites his lips, struggling to say whatever is on his mind.
"Can we all please stand for the bride?" The vicar announces, pulling Edward's attention from me as he turns to face his bride.
What was he going to say?
What was on his mind?
I want to reach out to pull his attention from his blushing bride, back to where it should be- on me! I don't, though. I hold back the urge to grab him as I watch with my monstrous green eyes at Bella walking up the aisle, smiling at her guests before gazing lovingly at her,!
I cannot think this, cannot allow this darkness to consume me, not on a day that should be so joyous. This is what he wants...isn't it?
What did he want to tell me?
I wish I knew, but I cannot find my voice, cannot move in my dream. It's as if this is not my own, that I am a part of someone else's dream.
Could he be dreaming about me? Are our dreams merging as one? I sigh, holding onto a small amount of hope that this is the case.
"If anyone here knows why these two cannot be joined in holy matrimony, then speak now, or forever hold their peace." Wait! We are at this part already?
I object! I object! I object!
I scream the words, but they just echo within me, not breaking into the church as they should. I am frozen; like a statue begging to be released, I just have no control. I watch like a spectator as the dream becomes a nightmare playing out in front of me, everyone remaining silent and the vicar about to resume his service.
Please! No, no, no, no...I OBJECT! I OBJECT!
Still nothing escapes me, and I know I am crying ghost-like tears that are not even leaving my eyes. It is all over, all going to shit ,and I cannot regain control.
I want to wake up, get back to consciousness NOW!
Then he turns towards me, his sad face looking into my eyes as the vicar plays out his service. He pauses for a moment, looking back at a smiling Bella before turning his gaze back to me.
"Wait..." Edward says, still looking into my eyes. "Emmett...Emmett...Emmett...wake up."
"Emmett, bro, wake up." I open my eyes to see Edward smiling at me, no longer in the dream where he almost said what I was always hopeful for.
I rolled my just-waking eyes, hiding my smile at the sight of him above me. "Morning," I say through my dehydrated throat.
He pauses, smiling at me for a moment before moving so I can sit up in bed.
"So, it's finally here...the big day." His voice seems smaller than usual.
I lean forward, clearing my throat as I go to speak to him, only to be interrupted by my adopted little sister leaning around the door.
"MOOOORRRRNNNIIIINNNNGGG!" Alice shouts, giggling. "How's the head, brother from another mother?"
She jumps on the bed as she did as a kid, but now at seventeen, it fucking hurts. I grab her, flipping her over and pinning her down as Edward helps me by tickling his sister into submission.
"" she says, in her hysterical laughter.
I turn to a smiling Edward. "What you think? has she suffered enough?"
I watch as he ponders for a moment, wanting to torture his sister further before his imaginary angel appears on his shoulder winning over his good side, booting off the devil.
He smiles. "Sadly, I do need my bridesmaid in one piece. Maybe later, though?" he suggests.
I look back down on my small kid sister, watching her pout up at me and wanting to be free. I lean in, licking up her face, knowing it will kill her as I release her and laugh at her screams of disgust as she rubs her face.
"Emmett! Jesus!" She scowls at me.
Edward and I laugh in unison, looking at our half -pint sister.
"Consider me always a part of you." I laugh as she leaves the room cussing. "So...time to get you ready?" I say, standing up and looking at Edward.
His eyes fall to the ground for a moment before looking at me again.
"Oh yeah...I almost stupid," he whispers.
Did I just detect sadness in his eyes?
It is as if I have entered my dream as I walk up the aisle to where we are to stand. I chuckle softly as I pass the pews we sat in as boys reading comics instead of hymnbooks.
The church is full, and Esme looks radiant. Carlisle looks sharp in his wedding clothes, but my eyes are fixed on him, black on black, his Armani suit fitting his flawless body, his black shirt with the top button undone.I knew she wouldn't have got him in a tie; he hates those things. I smile at traces of his personality still evident within him, not allowing his new wife to have it all her own way as so many do.
The music begins, and it is Jason Miraz' 'I'm Yours.' All eyes turn to watch Bella walk towards us. she has no veil, and although it pains me to say it, she looks beautiful.
I catch the tail end of the vicars' words, something about if not anyone here now thinks these two should not be joined together...
Suddenly all eyes are on me. I am on my feet standing in the middle of the aisle, oblivious to my body's movements. I do not look around me; instead, I turn on my heels and make my way out of the church, my heart threatening to burst out of my chest.
I'm nearing the end of the path, and my legs feel like they're weighted down, not allowing me to run for the hills.
I turn, and he is standing on the gravel path, his hand in his hair. I sigh.
"Why...Why what, Edward?"
He blows air out through his lips, shaking his head.
"Why didn't you say something?"
I am confused, not knowing what he wants me to say.
Then our eyes lock.
"Would it have made any difference?" My voice is barely audible.
He closes his eyes, and when they finally reopen, even from a distance I can see they are stormy; it takes him three long strides to reach me.
Our eyes drink one another in, moving from lips back to eyes then our lips again.
I am frozen in place just looking from the two points, drowning in this moment.
Then our lips touch.

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